The things you leave behind.

In mid-March of this year, I completed a divorce that started December 2009. To say that the three and a half year long divorce was bad is an understatement. It felt like most of North America had been destroyed by a meteor strike. After being worn down by so much bitterness, it was time to end the divorce. In the end it was funny who was still standing by my side and who bailed on me. Family members who have been close for years were suddenly burning my bridge. Friends I hadn’t spoken to came out to give advice. Most surprising of all was how, in retrospect, this started years before we ever hit the lawyers offices. And after this all began, I had someone new at my side.

I will now live off a fraction of my salary for the next 8 years, hopefully getting through by more than just the skin of my teeth during that time, have lost the car I was extremely fond of, lost all equity in my house which has sill not sold, and any belongings that I had not carried out of the house by January when the cleaners emptied the whole house. The items ranged from very material and now useless items like a large number of electronic gadgets to things that had sentimental value: a 3COM Ergo Audrey, a Salton ePods browser pad, various irreplaceable items handed down from family members who are no longer with us, my gold high school ring from 1986, trophies and belt from Tae Kwon Do, and countless other things.  Some few things like my Macbook Pro and the majority of my data were able to be removed, but in all honesty, none of those other things were really absolutely necessary for survival. At the start of this, I said that my sanity is worth much more than money or objects. I’m not sure that I still have all my sanity left, but I’m glad I made the right decision on not fighting for anything else.

Luckily, early on, my daughter and son smuggled out two plastic shoebox-sized containers of photo prints, full of treasured memories in it. I’m particularly sentimental about my pictures, avoiding losing any pictures at all costs. My oldest son recently found a CD and gave it to me as one of my birthday presents. One that I had burned back in 1996, when my daughter was a year old, and he himself was only six. The disc contained pictures I had though long gone. Along with some rolls of film that were never developed. It’s amazing the things that bring tears to your eyes.

The thing I am happiest about out of everything, is that I have my children living with me 100% of the time, the love of my soon-to-be wife, Sandra, and her two children in my life. I may not have much at all, but I am a very lucky man.


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